Principle 7: When We Have Power, That is Who We Are
Our true selves are revealed when we hold power over another person
We acknowledged in Principle 6 that power corrupts. But it would be a mistake to assume that this only comes into play in extraordinary situations. You know, you get elected to office, or the like.
No, as I said last time, the 5-year-old sharing cake with a younger sibling has power. And we all have power in many different moments of our lives.
Think about the reverse: when someone holds power over you. Does your true self come out when your work boss is lecturing you to do something better? Not really. You are showing your boss the obedient you. “Yes, I will try to do better.”
What if it was some stranger telling you to do better? “Who are you to tell me?!”
Our behavior is shaped by the power dynamics of a situation. So if that’s not the real you when you are being lorded over, is the real you the one who comes out when you get to lord it over someone else?
Yup.
Ladies, want to know what your date will be like in married life? Watch how he treats wait staff at a restaurant or a bar. That’s who he is when life gives him that chance. If he is kind and supportive to a stranger when he has the power to be otherwise, that’s a kind and supportive man. Conversely if he is belittling or rude, that’s a sneak preview of what kind of husband he will become.
Some people are frustrated by life. Maybe their parents were mean to them, or they hate their job, or they have bills they cannot pay. So she kicks her dog.
Huh?
What did the dog have to do with it?!
Nothing, but she had no other other outlet than to kick that poor dog. She had power, and she used it.
It’s not just politicians who show who they are when they get elected. It’s all of us, every day, every time we have power granted to us over another. How you treat the supermarket clerk, or the homeless person on the street, or that stray cat, tells us a lot about your true self.
The principled person will remember we live in a society where treating others well tends to lead to better lives for all. Do you see a person holding power over another, but acting in a kind way? That’s the principled person.
And by the way: kicking the dog did not improve her situation, but it sure made her relationship with the dog worse.
Good points. We can all by tyrants of small worlds.
I keep coming back to that line about politicians showing who they are when elected. It's making me think about my buddy who just got promoted at work. He's been acting different lately - wonder if this is why? I plan to annoy him about it this weekend lol
Thank you for sharing Nick - Happy Weekend to you!