One of the primary ways we can rise above just needing laws to keep us in place is by following one of the key principles that makes us human. Actually this applies to primates of all types: we do better when we remember we do not live alone.
Oh, you might live alone in your home, but I mean in society. For example, if you have ever driven the German autobahn, you will remember how much smoother driving there is. It’s not just the well-kept roads, it’s the societal rule that drivers there follow: Always stay in the right lane except to pass
In America, we kinda, sorta follow that rule until we don’t. And we primarily don’t when things get backed up. Then it’s every driver for his or herself and it quickly becomes a tangled mess. You know what happens in Germany when it gets backed up? Nothing. They stay in the right lane until it clears.
You know who gets there faster? The Germans:
The reason this is a principle is because society — and your own personal life — is better off when we remember that we share this world with others and that mutual cooperation benefits us all.
It helps the Germans get where they are going faster than the Americans with their go-it-alone attitude.
But it also makes us feel good when someone holds the door for us, or returns our smile on the street, or lets us go ahead at the checkout line with our three items ahead of them and their 65 items.
Why not a rule instead of this principle? Because you’d need 1,001 rules to cover every circumstance, or just one principle: we share this world, so treat others well whenever you can. You don’t need a rule, you can apply the principle wherever it’s needed.
What if you meet a jerk who doesn’t deserve your kindness? You could give it to the jerk anyway if you want to be super principled, or you could just ignore them and let them go on their way. That’s the easy way to deal with a road shark: ignore them and let them fall off your mind as not worthy of your attention.
It makes for a happier life when you act this way, and it’s better than losing your temper every time someone does not reciprocate.
This is not a quid-pro-quo principle. It’s not meant for you to lecture others how to act. It’s simply a way for you to live that makes it nicer for others.
If others make it nicer for you, that’s a nice bonus, but it is not a prerequisite. At the very least you feel satisfied that you did your part.
I appreciate this principle. When we're not just looking out for ourselves, everyone benefits - including ourselves! Things really do flow better when we keep this principle in mind. I liked the autobahn analogy. I've been driving a lot and people here (in Canada, similar to the US) will change lanes as soon as they get delayed. It is this constant shifting that makes the roads unpredictable and slows things down.