Principle 39: Don't Badmouth People

Though some folks deserve it

When I was a kid, I heard a saying that resonated with me:

• Smart people talk about ideas

• Average people talk about things

• Dumb people talk about people

Well, that’s certainly an intellectually snobbish way to think about others, and certainly looks down on dumb people. But the principle is that most people really do talk about things and people.

Just listen as you walk around others talking. What are they saying most of the time?

• “So then I said, and then she said, and then I said, and then she said.”

• “First I did this, then he said that, then I did this other thing.”

• “Did you see this thing? I thought it was great, what about you?”

It’s not often you hear people walking down the street speaking philosophically unless you are on campus grounds.

However, the principle here is not to badmouth people. Why? First of all, talking about people is literally the laziest form of communication. The most vapid of pre-teens already have this down! Secondly, what purpose is served by saying something bad about a person?

Yes, you get the reaction above, and maybe that feeds your ego or something. But other than possibly turning your listener against the person you are badmouthing, what is accomplished?

If someone is doing something wrong, you can go your own way, you know. You don’t have to turn into the town crier and tell everyone you see that this person doing something wrong is, uh, doing something wrong! Most people can see they are doing something wrong.

And badmouthing others encourages more badmouthing, and you might be the victim of it next. After all, you showed others that you don’t object to this behavior, so who are you to complain?

Yes, some people are so awful, you feel compelled to share notes with your friends to remind yourself you aren’t going crazy. Fair enough. What I am talking about is habitual badmouthing of one person after another.

People don’t like people who do that, or if they do, they are also flawed. Don’t be flawed. Bad people exist. Let them.