Principle 14: We Are All on Our Own Journey

Stop comparing yourself with others at different stages than you

Substack is a great place, but boy does it encourage us to compare ourselves with our peers.

• “Wow, he has 400 followers in just six months, what am I doing wrong?”

• “Huh? She is on the top Fiction list with only 200 subscribers, why aren’t my 400 enough?”

• “That note got 1,000 likes? For that cliched thought!”

We learn this comparison trap in childhood, both in school and with our parents wanting us to measure up to others. Then it’s off to the working world, and you are all vying for those promotions.

There are, indeed, times when you are directly competing against someone, and in those times a comparison makes sense.

For all the other times? Throw out that thought!

We are all learning and doing different things at different times in our lives. Are you astonished as a child to see someone play a piano? Well, you too could take lessons for years and do the same. The pianist is just further along that path than you. But you could become just as/nearly as good if you worked hard at it.

On Substack we are at different stages. This one has been at it for two years, while you have been at it two months — of course your results will be different. That one writes novels, you write economic essays — of course your audience will be different. The other person is 60 years old, you are 20 — of course the way you think and write will be different.

It’s not a race — or rather it is one, but a different type of race:

We are all at different stages of life. Of course our results will be different.

So when the comparison demon wants to sit on your shoulder and tell you that you are not measuring up, give him the stink eye and remind him that we are all on different roads, at different stages, with different goals, and different abilities. How could we not have different results?

And remember the piano lessons: want to improve a skill? The world is ready to teach you as long as you are ready to work.