Principle 15: Do Not Worry What People Think of You

You'd be surprised why

Have you ever walked down a busy part of a city, full of people, each group intent on its own destination even as you are doing the same?

Do you notice the people you pass?

I mean, Sherlock Holmes level of observation?

Probably not. Your mind probably does an instant group identification: Middle-aged man with blue sweater, young woman in yellow sun dress, and so on. Maybe something out of the ordinary catches your eye (unusual beauty, atypical height or weight, a person being loud), but for the most part those instant group identifications tend to fade from your mind in minutes (if not seconds).

In fact, I’ll bet it’s more like this:

A bit blurry, you just notice the rough outline of people and nothing else.

When I was a child, my parents told me a saying that as I have lived I realized was 100% true:

When you are 20, you worry what people think of you.

When you are 40, you don’t worry what people think of you.

When you are 60, you realized they were never thinking of you in the first place.

Honestly, most people are so wrapped up in their own heads you have to practically nudge them to get their attention.

Kids never believe this, of course, because they are in the one stage of life where people really are noticing and judging them. School is ruthless in this aspect, but you know what, kids? It mostly goes away in adulthood.

Oh, the more immature among the adults might still laugh at you if you stumble as you walk, but even then they simply don’t care beyond that immediate moment. People are just busy with their lives.

So please do not worry so much about how you are perceived. We are lucky to be perceived at all!