Optimism vs Realism vs Pessimism

Which one is best?

When I was a kid, I was an optimistic sort. I looked at the world as being full of possibility, and each new person I met as a potential friend. I assumed good outcomes, and if something turned out badly I viewed it as the exception.

Boy did adulthood surprise me!

Yes, I think all of us realized — some earlier than others I’m sure — that assuming a good outcome every time is not realistic in the least. Mr. Murphy might have been extreme — it’s not that anything that can go wrong does so — but any adult will nod knowingly when exposed to Murphy’s Law.

So when I was in my early 20s, and I began to work with the adult world for the first time, and when I saw that my blind, childlike optimism wasn’t how the world actually worked, I was faced with a decision:

Should I become a pessimist, assume the worst so that no one can take advantage of me?

or

Should I remain an optimist, assume the best and get taken advantage of sometimes to my surprise and sorrow?

or

Should I become a realist, assume the best while knowing that people will take advantage of me sometimes but not get surprised by it?

After careful thought I realized I didn’t want to become a pessimist, making sure no one could ever take advantage of me no matter what, even if that meant treating the good folks with suspicion.

I also realized I didn’t want to remain in blind optimism. It would lead to too many disappointments.

Not sure I fully agree with either bird

So I became a realist (with optimistic defaults), deliberately knowing that at times people will treat me wrong, and understanding ahead of time that will be the case so I won’t be so disappointed.

It is sort of like what Benjamin Franklin said about punishment:

"it is better a hundred guilty persons should escape than one innocent person should suffer."

Some politicians playact at being tough and preach the reverse: Better to lock ‘em all up rather than risk the one guilty person go free.

I stand with Ben. It’s better to assume the best, knowing that every now and then you will absolutely get taken for a fool. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, my good nature is rewarded. That last time I simply blame the other person for being that way, and chalk it up to experience.

I still look at the world as mostly benign, while understanding there are bad actors around taking advantage of the rest of us. As Alfred told Batman, “some men just want to watch the world burn.” Doesn’t mean I have to expect the world to burn, nor be surprised when they expect it, but I look for the sunny, blue skies instead.

And whaddya know, most days the skies are indeed blue.